If there's a way to name something in my own life that's held me back, I'd have to call out my people-pleasing. I see it very clearly along the way as I reflect back. I recognize it in myself still today - even as far as I've come.
When I look back, I wonder why I didn't understand that many of my "yesses" were driven by a need to please. I was completely unaware that I was seeking approval. All I knew is that there was too much to do, not enough time to do it in, and that I felt driven to do it all.
My inability to say "no" often started with an internal statement that formed itself as, "I can't." And it was an "I can't" that I tended to believe with all my heart.
It goes something like this:
And on and on it goes.
You know, sometimes it's the simple things that help us – like coffee cups.
This Christmas I received a coffee cup from my daughter who knows me well. It was a quiet little mug, but the words on it deeply spoke to me. They kept expanding in my mind and I couldn't get away from them – those three little words.
They simply said, "Actually, I can."
I thought about that phrase and made it my own for 2021. There's much behind those words to me – emotions, memories, dreams, and desires – more than I can even express.
AS I think about that phrase I wonder, could it be that 2021 is the year that I really begin to believe this and live that out freely in my life? Could it be that all of the difficult ups and downs across the years of my life have actually become a big part of what equips me to say, "I can!" so I can do the things God calls me to do?
I wonder, too, if your 2020, with all its troubles and hardships, could somehow be paving the way for you? Could it be, perhaps, that God is getting you ready for what He has yet in store?
I think this is true – and I believe that for you. God does big things while we go through the hard times – even as we repeat once again, "I can't."
I catch myself saying, "I can't" in so many different ways, and I wonder if you have, too.
But the words I received on Christmas Day help me remember,
Actually, I can.
I also know that my "I cans" can sometimes feel impossible because of my struggle with people-pleasing. But I've learned over time that actually, I can – because Jesus lives in me.
I can release my need to please people and break free from approval-seeking. And 2021 is the year to do that more fully than I've ever been able to do it before.
As I look back I remember all that has passed before me in 2020. I think about what I've walked through and how I've been stretched and challenged. And I know that you see the same in your own life and that God has challenged you, too.
As I think about these things, I realize that without passing through all the hardships that 2020 brought our way, we could not possibly become who God wants us to be in 2021.
What I come to understand is this:
In 2021, "Actually, we can!"
What does the Bible Say?
Ephesians 6:7 Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people. (NIV)
A Question for You
When you think of the Bible verse above, what comes to mind? What invitation is God might God be extending to you in this verse? Please share in the comments below!
This post may be linked in other places. Click HERE to find out where.
Are you ready to say “no” without the guilt? Get my free guide by clicking the image below. 👇🏻
Click the colored text below to join my email list and: