8 Warning Signs to Help You Recognize People Pleasing Patterns (Part 1)

Posted on May 7, 2021
 by Leslie Newman

I don't remember the first time I heard the term people pleasing, but I do remember paying attention. It sounds good doesn’t it? We like pleasing others, and isn't that what we are supposed to be doing as Christian women? 

Well –  it can get confusing, so let's define what people pleasing is.

Merriam Webster defines a people pleaser as a person who has an emotional need to please others, often at the expense of his or her own needs or desires.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines a people pleaser as someone who cares a lot about whether other peoplelike them and always wants others to approve of their actions.

Do you see some of the concepts in there? There are emotional needs surfacing that one is trying to meet, but often at an expense to their own well being. And, there's a lot of approval-seeking! Ouch - this steps on my toes because this is something I've dealt with in my life.

People pleasing is a common human struggle that comes from trying to meet the natural longings we all have to be unconditionally loved, valued, and accepted, and there's nothing wrong with that! 

However, when we have an emotional need to please, or when we are constantly overwhelmed with worry about what others think, we end up holding ourselves back in the long run.

Join me in the video for a conversation about people pleasing and discover the key to making better choices!

If these warning signs are familiar to you, and you are looking for a change, you can be assured setting healthy boundaries is the pathway out of the inner frustration and worry that accompanies people pleasing. 

With a little boundaries work, you will find yourself able to make God-honoring decisions that will help you step away from people pleasing, define who you are, and relate to others without feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.

Are you interested in learning more about how to create and implement healthy boundaries? Contact me at leslie@leslienewmancoaching.com for a conversation. I’d love to get to know you and share how I can help you!

What are your thoughts on this topic? I’d love to hear them in the comments below!

*To see this conversation in print, read it HERE on my personal blog.

Are you ready to say “no” without the guilt? Get my free guide by clicking the image below. 👇🏻

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